A dance with African Cape Buffaloes

She left me in the middle of the nothing, to let me feed on my pain of losing her. It felt like drinking hot brimmed sugar free black coffee on a Monday morning at office instead of a glass of wine at a rooftop cafe on Sunday evening with a beautiful woman. It felt dejected like waiting at the airport for a bunch of hyenas to walk down the ‘Arrivals’ gate and eat your flesh and even they refused to do so, and it felt more lonely than loneliness feels lonely in absence of itself. It was like being thrown in the middle of cape Buffaloes running wild and free in the sear fields of Africa, each one of them trying to pull you towards them, to drag you down from one end to the other, to beat you up like an unholy calamity slowly stealing your each breath, punching you to unconsciousness. The worst was that I didn’t mind to be be towed into the dirt and have my taste of black coffee and I hate black coffee.
There were thousands of toxic thoughts like these wild Buffaloes running in the withered fields of my head when she left, each trying to drag me down across polar ends, trying to kill me with their stingy horns, toss me to skid row, tie me to the ceiling. Her absence was the presence of these wild thoughts trying to kill me soft and slow. I know that it is just a matter of few fights until one learns to tame those buffaloes. You cannot let these thoughts drag you all the way to the other side of the field. You have to know them to control them and you’ve to tame them when they are irrational, wild, and disorganized and you have to do it with utmost patience. You have to understand and make them your slaves. Once you have done that, only then you can ride these buffaloes in scorching sun on that dried up field. The most important thing is that you’ve to learn to ride these wild dangerous cape buffaloes of your mind to learn to survive the distortion of your own image caused by someone close leaving you in the middle of nothing. 

Maybe, soon enough. Maybe one day, I will ride them.


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